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About Jon
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Let’s go to the movies! I love the movie experience, study what happens on the screen and am writing about it to help you with your movie going decisions. Hopefully something in the blogging of a film’s big elements – screenwriting, cinematography, directing, acting, visual effects, sound, and editing (and sometimes automobiles) – will help movie fans discern where their entertainment dollars should go. I’ve been blogging about movies on 99x.com since April 2008 and have been listening to 99x since moving to Atlanta in 1996. I’ve worked on the Olympics and short films that have appeared at Sundance and other film festivals in the U.S., Europe, and Australia. I have a Master’s degree in film from Florida State University and regard film school as one of the best experiences of my life.
I currently live in Atlanta with my wife and two labs; love baseball, music, family and friends, good food, and of course movies. Just to blog down thoughts from an eyewitness perspective I avoid reading other movie blogs or reviews on a new release until I’ve posted my own. All references to box office results or cast and crew are culled from boxofficeguru.com, boxofficemojo.com, or IMDB.com. Wikipedia is not used in the writing of this blog. Follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/jonlamoreaux for additional movie updates.
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Jon's Movie Blog
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Sep
16
Written by:
Jon Lamoreaux
9/16/2009 9:50 AM
It was a late prescreening, around 9:30PM which is unusual for this kind of thing. But perfect for the kind of crowd that rolled in: talking to the screen, laughing louder than usual, screaming in the dark. It’s what a movie like this needs to succeed at the theater because other than scantily clad college girls being off’d one at a time by a Scream-like hooded killer, there’s nothing much else to be anxious about here. No thrill ride, I guess depending on who you are; just the entertainment of Jerry Springer show-like reactions from the crowd.
Except there is the occasional choice line delivered by head sister, Jessica, played by Leah Pipes. She’s a real bitch but she gets to say things like, “Friend me on Facebook, I’ll confirm,” when smartly pushing aside a pre-pledging, annoying freshman. Or like when their sorority prank against a cheating boyfriend goes wrong and a housemate playing dead is suddenly really dead, Briana Evigan’s character Cassidy asks the girls wanting to keep it all hush, “Do you know what it’s like to keep a secret for the rest of your life?” And Pipes, as if she just left Jake in Sixteen Candles gets to respond with, “Of course we do, we’re Theta Phi.” Okay, not the best dialog in the world but surprisingly better than I thought it would be.
There’s only one truly creepy moment that makes you jump but it’s brought on mostly by quick camera moves and sound effects. There’s also a sorority girl aptly named Chugs because she’s always chugging down a drink, something I thought was fairly funny. I liked Chugs quite a bit. She didn’t really seem to fit the girls of Theta Phi. The girls in Sorority Row are not as homogenous as you think they might be, the way Hollywood has stereotyped girls like this, which is slightly refreshing here. Some girls in the inner circle are downright geeky and that gives a few scenes a sense of realism. Something I think the audience can identify with which is always what you want in a film like this.
Like all similar films heretofore, then – neither horror nor slasher film, more like a guy’s cheap thrills film – it’s more fun to check off your horror film recipe list as you watch, your list of genre rules that you know are predictable, expected, exploitive but could care less about more so than the escape of a good story. Because the anticipation of the expected is comforting, but only effective if used as a starting place for later bending expectations and delivering on story. Sadly, this film does none of that. But the reassuring “fun” of having horror film expectations met does exist here. It’s not totally worthless.
Oh, and there’s Carrie Fischer as the House Mom who wields a shotgun and gives the killer the best challenge of his/her night. She’s looking more like Fischer from The Blues Brothers than the Fischer of Star Wars, obviously. But it’s not a bad role for her actually. More like a cameo. And she’s the only star the movie has. Except for maybe Rumor Willis, who’s not quite a star yet but who’s the daughter of some very famous people. She gets some great screams in and provides a tad bit of comic relief.
So the only thing left to wonder about Sorority Row is this: why does the killer always have to wear a robe? And why is the film so darn grainy? It gives it a sinister cinematic style on the cheap, I understand but gosh I felt so sandy just watching the thing.
Oh yeah, and there’s some creepy text messaging. Gotta keep up with the times don’t you know.
Sorority Row is rated R. About 90 minutes. I give it $1.90 out of $10. If only the cost of admission could equal a penny for every minute, only then would Row be of value.
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