Look out because here comes another three or so parted series of films. You can always tell by the colon in the title that you’re about to get sucked into a saga that won’t find closure until the studio is bankrupt. And not even then will it end because someone or some part of the film can be sold or spun off into another colonated series. This time it’s Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer and the people behind Pirates of the Caribbean doing a big screen adaptation of the video game by the same name, Prince of Persia. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kinsley, and Alfred Molina who all three, quite frankly, save this picture. Yeah, it took me a while to get into the story but you know what? It’s not bad. Not bad at all.

MacGruber is the little Saturday Night Live parody skit that made it big. Probably the shortest skit in SNL history whose origins are in poking fun of the 1980’s show MacGyver. In that legendary TV series which ran from 1985 to 1992, actor Richard Dean Anderson (Stargate) played special agent Angus MacGyver who at the climax of each week’s episode would disarm bombs using everyday items such as gum wrappers, toothpicks, a used AA battery, or loose coins—anything handy that he could methodically intertwine and cleverly craft into tools to stop an explosion. The movie MacGruber which makes more fun of 80’s Action Films than of MacGyver specifically has Will Forte recreating his SNL mini-skit character who on late night TV never quite gets the job done; who instead of dismantling bombs oftentimes lets his personality differences with the show’s many guests or his own stupidity get in the way until time on the bomb’s clock has ticked away. That’s not the case in the big screen version. Instead, MacGruber manufactures his own explosives using the devices of gross humor, vulgarity, silliness, childishness and randomness to implode the genre in on itself rather than diffuse it of its many clichéd customs. Meaning everything you would imagine seeing in an 80’s action film is here adolescently blown up in your face. So much so that at times you might find yourself averting your gaze.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie over two hours in length and came out of the theater awake and somewhat satisfied. Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, William Hurt, Max von Sydow and Mark Strong, among others, directed by the great Ridley Scott (Alien (1979), Blade Runner (1982), Gladiator (2003)) clocks in at a Lord of the Rings size duration of two hours and forty minutes. Surviving the adventure of movie time itself regardless of action on film can be tricky because it fools you into thinking you’re getting your money’s worth. And I say yeah, you are. Sort of.

You’re getting your money’s worth in Mark Strong (Sherlock Holmes (2009), Kick Ass (2010), RocknRolla (2008)) as the bad guy, and Max von Sydow (The Virgin Spring (1960), The Seventh Seal (1957), Shutter Island (2010), Minority Report (2002)) as the old guy. And what guy doesn’t like Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth (1998), The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003), The Aviator (2004)) who plays Maid Marion, the perfect girl for every guy.

This could quite possibly be my shortest blog entry to date. The good news is, the Iron Man franchise is safe. The bad news is…well there is no bad news, no really bad news anyway. Sure, I have my criticisms about this second “tales of suspense” installment involving the 1963 Stan Lee and Marvel comics created iron-suited superhero but they’re petty. Here are nine short things you need to know to prepare for 2010’s first blockbuster of Summer.

1. Iron Man 2 is so good it doesn’t need 3D.

2. But first, lower your expectations. While you’re waiting in line for popcorn just think of all the worst movies you can think of starring the Iron Man 2 actors—Robert Downey Jr. in Soapdish (1991), Don Cheadle in Mission to Mars (2000), Scarlett Johansson in In Good Company (2004), Gwyneth Paltrow in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004), Jon Favreau in Couples Retreat (2009)…you get the idea. With lower expectations comes a greater opportunity to be entertained.

The problem with this film is that it uses nearly the same script and dialogue from the original 1984 film, verbatim, rather than adapting it to the faster, more tech savvy world of today. The film even incorporates the same type of actors—young, unfamiliar, trying too hard, no talent amateurs who are working with dated material. I felt bad for them, really. If it weren’t for Oscar nominated 70’s child star actor Jackie Earle Haley, this Nightmare on Elm Street would really suck. Wait, it does suck. Because as I recall, the original sucked too. Sorry about that ANOES purists (and Wes Craven), but search your dreams, go back a bit. Remember? It wasn’t until three and four that the series mixed in humor with the horror. And that is always a good thing.

A brilliant little film. Already in my top five of 2010 so far. Exit Through The Gift Shop is about Street Art, and I’m capitalizing those words because as you’ll see the film talks about this very specific “art” on the street movement that is not just graffiti and the defacing (whatever your interpretation of defacing is) of public property. It is more like iconic commentary deposited by modern day cave men that feel the primordial need to leave their mark on the caves of contemporary society. Using anything they can find to adhere, paint, or dispose of their signature creations in a graphically eye-catching, thought provoking, and public way. And in the end, the film is art about making art, commenting on how people perceive the value of art through exclusivity—I was there, I saw it, one of a kind, me and it and nobody else; I am now part of the hype and buzz that surrounds this object and I am now part of the story, regardless of how meaningful, or meaningless, the art really is.

I suspect a large number of postings on The Losers this weekend will undoubtedly use the title of the film to project or report on the performance of the film. If a rough cut of the film revealed something even remotely shy of being a winner, I as the director, if I were so fortunate, would beg the producers and Warner Brothers who were footing the bill to change the title. Either way, win or lose, you’ll see The Losers make headlines because of said relationship to box office results—something like “The Losers is a ‘Loser,’” or “The Losers ‘loses’ out to Kick-Ass and The Back-up Plan,” or maybe even, “The Losers is no ‘loser’ at the Box Office”—but also newsworthy, win or lose, and I say win with a rocket’s red glare, is that it’s Zoe Saldana’s first action film appearance since Avatar.

What makes Kick-Ass so good is that it’s based in reality and posits the notion that anyone can be a caped crusader or superhero in tights. If you’re willing to get your ass kicked. Here’s a very violent film that humorously shows what really happens when regular folks like you and I, some younger, some older, throw on colorful costumes and take crime-fighting matters in to their own hands. And regardless of how crazy, embarrassing, preposterous and yet retro geek-cool the title sounds, Kick-Ass is about to put a sleeper hold on this year’s competition. The following are nine reasons why.

I don’t even want to write about Date Night. I want to write about Kick-Ass! As much as I’m entertained by Steve Carell and Tina Fey, it’s Kick-Ass that gets me energized. That’s what I’ve discovered about myself is that no caffeinated drink or drug can get me pumped like a good action film. Which is why I’m using the lift of my recent viewing of Kick-Ass to tell you that Date Night, though not high in the action department, is a good-natured movie for a date…night. It’s safe enough for two people wanting to share an evening together to see, with no noticeable story bombs to risk ruining the date. But is it enough these days at the movies to just play it safe?

I’ve yet to be impressed with the new 3D fad. It seems like a gimmicky ploy now more than ever to get people back in the theaters and away from their huge 1080P HD flat screens—not unlike the 50’s and early 60’s when Hollywood tried all kinds of things, including Smell-O-Vision to get people away from addictive tech devices at the time called Televisions. Which is fine today, but at such costs? Fourteen dollars and fifty cents now for the price of admission, and for what? A headache? Oh, but about Clash of the Titans: It’s a Greek Mythology adventure film about Perseus, son of Zeus, who takes on his evil uncle Hades to stop the obliteration of Argos, prototypical good city of peace and mankind grown restless with the Gods. Note: This is not your grandfather’s Clash of the Titans from 1981. It’s better. But the 3D does nothing for the film except dull the images.

It’s simple. Four dudes in the present travel back to 1986 via a hot tub that doubles as a time machine. And if that sounds like a good time to you then you’re in. You’ll love this movie. And you’ll love it even more if you actually were around in 1986 doing the same things these guys were doing or seeing the 80’s movies the guys, and the film, reference such as Back to the Future (1985), Say Anything (1989), The Karate Kid (1984), or Terminator (1984). And if a decade or so later in the 90’s you fell out of your seat laughing at the gross-out comedy of Farrelly brother films like Kingpin (1996) and Something About Mary (1998), you’ll love it more. Do you still remember the big-hair Poison and Motley Crue guys like it was yesterday? Even better. And guys, did I mention it’s a guy’s movie? Sex and drugs and rock and roll catered just to your liking with a chance at redemption thrown in for good measure.

Blood often splatters on walls as if from the flicked wrist of Jackson Pollack in large, fanned, atomized brush strokes. Something about the humor, irony, and satire of the film reminded me of Stanley Kubrick. Story takes place in a science fiction world that is partly Blade Runner, Logan’s Run and part RoboCop. And why doesn’t Forest Whitaker win more Oscars? These are just some of the notes I scribbled while watching this oddly entertaining action-suspense-horror film about repossession men, Jude Law and Whitaker, who don’t take back cars or houses when folks fail to pay their creditor but instead reclaim your liver, your heart, your lungs and other man-made biotech body parts when you fail to make payments. Bloody, and violent, Repo Men is a film that at times would make David Cronenberg blush. Be warned, this R-rated film is not for everyone.

Matt Damon and Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum director Paul Greengrass team up again, this time for a war thriller that takes place in Iraq’s Green Zone, circa 2003 on the dawn of U.S. occupation of Baghdad. Named after a boundary intensive, heavily guarded center of U.S. military and diplomatic government refuge, the base of which is Saddam’s presidential palace, it becomes the backdrop for U.S. Army Chief Warrant Officer Ron Miller’s quest to find WMDs, Weapons of Mass Destruction. But as forceful as the politics of the film are, I almost rather it have been a search for a good chicken salad sandwich.

So I went 15 for 24 on the 2010 Oscars and missed all of my favorite categories which are Best Cinematography, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Original Screenplay. Had I just gone with my gut instinct I could have aced those three. Plus I think Avatar was robbed in the Sound Editing and Sound Mixing categories. No matter how much you love The Hurt Locker or hate Avatar, the sound was absolutely on the money in Avatar. We’re talking about a film created nearly entirely on a computer. But I think the Academy nailed it with Best Picture and Best Director going with Kathryn Bigelow and The Hurt Locker. But let’s move on, that’s old news. The Oscars are over and it’s time to look forward to the coming months.

Here are 9 films I can’t wait to see:

Not surprisingly, Alice in Wonderland is a visual feast. Especially in 3D. Fans of Jeff Spicoli falling out of their smoke-filled Volkswagen Buses in the back of movie house parking lots will especially be turned on by the psychedelic set design, costumes and visual effects that are simply scrumptious. It all looks like candy in a way and I kept expecting to hear The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds play over the images. Director Tim Burton unleashes his unique fantasy-macabre vision once again in a perfect surreal setting seemingly destined to have been born a Burton project. My question is, within this experimental magic of Wonderland can Disney capture the kind of large audience complacency they normally find with their animated fairytales?

So what are your picks for The Oscars? A tough one in the Best Picture Category, not between ten but between two. There are only three or four worthy contenders and two with the most buzz currently have earned a total of $723.5 million—that’s The Hurt Locker, total U.S. box office take of $12.7 million, and Avatar, currently at $710.8 million domestically. Total polar opposites in terms of tickets sold. But how do you think the 6000 members of the Academy voted? And do you think there’s an opportunity with so many nominations in the Best Picture category for films like The Blind Side or Inglourious Basterds to slide in between split votes? We’ll see on Sunday, one television event I sorely look forward to because it’s all about the people who went chasing their dreams; the Oscar Ceremony being the one chance of the year they get to tell the World their journey was worth its weight in gold. Oh yeah, and it’s also an occasion for predictions. The following are my picks, with Christoph Waltz a definite lock in the Supporting Actor category.

BEST PICTURE / Film EDITING / DIRECTING: The Hurt Locker (Chris Innis, Bob Murawski for Editing; Katherine Bigelow for Directing)

Five-time Oscar nominee Jeff Bridges, son to famous actor Lloyd Bridges, and younger brother to Beau Bridges will most likely be giving the Best Actor acceptance speech this year at the Academy Awards. Bridges gives a very real performance in Crazy Heart, a film about a fictitious country singer-songwriter named Bad Blake whom staying fans adore even when he’s wiping vomit from his mouth and forgetting lyrics after a few too many bouts with the bottle. It helps that Bridges does his own singing because it gives him further ownership of this familiar but heroic role.

Have you seen all of the 10 Best Picture nominations? Live broadcast of The 82nd Annual Academy Awards is next Sunday, March 7th at 8PM on ABC. Just about all of the films are playing at theaters currently except for A Serious Man and Up which you can now find on Netflix and at Blockbuster. My suggestion is find as many films on DVD or via cable as you can and throw an Oscar party. If you can’t get all of the films, find a synopsis of each movie, get some props, some friends and play a modified 3D version of Charades. That way you won’t feel left out when they announce The Hurt Locker as Best Picture. But please don’t hurt yourself while hurting a locker.

One could say Cop Out starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan is a buddy cop film full of clichés from 80’s films like Beverly Hills Cop (1984) or Running Scared (1986), certainly Lethal Weapon (1987) that mirrors those films so closely it could almost be considered a rip off or slightly better, a parody. Or, one could say it’s simply a loving tribute to black cop, white cop films that honors the best of those movies and proliferates a class of action comedy we’ll call The 80’s Buddy Cop Film genre. Either way, with Willis, and music by Harold Faltermeyer, two quintessential contributors to the best of 80’s action films, nostalgia proves to be an easy sell for Cop Out.

For Shutter Island, 68-year-old grand filmmaker and historian Martin Scorsese dips into the psychological-horror-suspense pockets of a coat once worn by the great Alfred Hitchcock. If Hitchcock were around today would he succumb to 3D and visual effects like the ones you see in seasonal Blockbusters? I think he would but to a more subtle degree. Look at the unusual camera movements and matte paintings of films like Psycho (1960) and Vertigo (1958), and the unique art design contribution of Salvador Dali in Hitch’s Spellbound (1945). Shutter Island has no 3D technology but you wouldn’t know that from what depth and dimension you see presented here visually and aurally. Creepy characters and objects consciously placed in or outside of the frame are done so always as a reminder of what Shutter Island is, an insane asylum for criminals. Scorsese is doing what he does best today which is big studio, professional filmmaking that pushes the boundaries of all key elements of film, including visual effects, to not just sell tickets but to tell a good story. Is Shutter Island worth seeing? To help you decide, here are nine facts and opinions of Scorsese’s 21st feature film, Shutter Island.